I have a theory and I believe that I am on to something here......I'm certain that when you give birth to your first child you are awarded with an area in your brain called 'additional patience'. This is a wonderful thing, as if we all had the same amount of patience we had prior to giving birth then all manner of havoc would ensue.
Babies would be slung out of windows at 3am, trolleys would be abandonded in supermarkets - complete with screaming children in them and many people would wake up in the morning to collect the post, the milk and the puce coloured baby that has been left on their doorstep!
So this is why I believe that we, as mums, are given this gift of extra patience! Marvellous........well yes it is great, but there is also the downside to this theory of mine and I believe that many of you will be able to recognise the signs within yourselves as you read on.....
So, as I was saying - the brain segregates an area off which I have called 'extra patience' and the downside to this wonderful ammenity is that the area it uses to do this was originally your 'memory'. Yep, unfortunatley, the area of 'memory' has to give up some of it's valuable space to accomodate the patience - which is kinda ok as you need an awful lot of patience with yourself as you are constantly forgetting things!!
Unfortunately this doesn't stop here as you are awarded more patience and less memory with each additional child that you have. By the time that you have made it to three children, you will be lucky if you remember what day of the week it is!! If you decide at this stage that three children is enough, then don't rely on a contraceptive pill to keep you out of trouble as you will inevietably forget to take it!
The rather cruel twist of fate in all this is that, as you have children so the need arises to remember more things. You will find yourself muttering various mantras throughout the day in a vain attempt to remember everything, ie. Must buy new school dress, must buy new school dress, must buy......oooh look at those gorgeous shoes..........
Oh yes, you will still be very easily distracted by shoes and shiny things but whereas you would have been able to buy the shoes and continue with your day prior to having children, your brain now sends the message 'can't afford shoes as need to buy'.............um.........what was it you needed to buy?
So at the end of the day when your husband is moaning that you didn't pick his suit up from the dry cleaners, your eldest daughter is crying becuase the hole in her school dress is now bordering on indecent, the dog has peed on the floor as you meant to take him for a walk and the kids are tucking into chocolate spread sandwiches because you forgot to go shopping, just console yourself with the fact that none of it is your fault and be thankful that you have the patience to deal with it!